Anne Hathaway’s infertility struggle went so long that she started to feel tormented even at the sight of any pregnant woman.
So, when the Hollywood actor put up that joyful picture of herself with a burgeoning baby bump to announce her second pregnancy, she felt it was also important to share the miserable story that brought her to that point. She did not clarify if she underwent IVF but confirmed that she suffered a miscarriage.
“For everyone going through infertility and conception hell, please know it was not a straight line to either of my pregnancies. Sending you extra love,” she wrote on her Instagram handle.
“It’s not for a movie,” she clarified on the post that received almost 4 million likes and thousands of comments cheering the actress.
Since then, ‘The Hustle’ star has given several interviews, speaking candidly about infertility and the isolation that comes with it.
According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, around 13 percent of couples in the US face difficulties in conceiving. Many of them will resort to IVF or other forms of ART and may still take years to get pregnant.
Calling attention to infertility
Talking to the Daily Mail, Hathaway said that conception problems are common and yet it “is something people don’t talk about” and so she felt it was important to send out an honest message to people, who are struggling to conceive.
When the actor was 36-years-old, she said it was hard to see people successfully conceive, while she could not, despite trying over and over again.
“What made matters worse was that I was embarrassed to feel like that because there was no conversation to be had about it,” Hathaway said. “So, when I was writing that post, I was thinking about that one follower I might reach, the woman who’s in hell about this and can’t figure out why it’s not happening for her.
“She’s going to see my announcement and, while I understand she will be happy for me, I also know that something about it will make her feel worse. I just wanted to say: ‘Look, this wasn’t as easy for me as it looks.’”
Anne Hathaway’s miscarriage & babies
Before her sons were born, Hathaway suffered a miscarriage in 2015.
“The first time, it didn’t work out for me,” she recalled. “I was doing a play, and I had to give birth onstage every night.”
Off-stage, however, Hathaway had to “keep it real” with her friends. “It was too much to keep it in when I was onstage pretending everything was fine,” she said.
Hathaway and her actor-and-jewelry designer husband, Adam Shulman, have been married since 2012.
Their first child, Jonathan Rosebanks Shulman, was born in 2016, while his junior, Jack, was born in 2020.
Social media is not real: Anne Hathaway
Social media posts don’t often show the full picture and Hathaway warns of the hints of despair covered by a joyous picture. She wanted to be sensitive to the emotions of people, who are struggling to conceive.
“I sometimes think Instagram makes life look really breezy, but that’s not the whole story. By leaving out the sad part, we make women who are struggling with this feel isolated and lonely; we make them feel like it’s all their fault. I wanted to be more sensitive than that.”
Pregnancy announcement
Her first pregnancy announcement was also unusual as the Oscar winning actress had shared a picture of herself on the beach, pregnant and rocking a red bikini. Admitting that it was “a little out of character” for her to share a bikini photo, Hathaway explained that she’d noticed that she was being clicked by photographers around her, so she thought she might as well share a picture that she likes.
While the mother of two did not divulge if she underwent IVF treatment and refused to share the exact details of her infertility struggles, Hathaway admitted that neither of her pregnancies was easy.
That message seems to have resonated with thousands as she was inundated with messages from women who find themselves in similar situations.
“When I said to them: ‘This has happened to me, it broke my heart, it broke me,’ so many of them said: ‘It happened to me, too,’ and that was the thing that allowed me to come through it, to feel my pain without having anyone rush in to define it or cure it,” she said. “To be able to understand what was going on beyond blaming myself or blaming my body.”
Bothered by the rude comments on Social Media
As with many celebrities, Anne Hathaway said she was bothered by the constant speculation on her potential pregnancy and the rude comments.
“What I hated was when people would say: ‘What’s taking you so long?’” she said. “Or they’d try to put a pretty bow on what was happening to me and make it seem not so bad.
“I would just think: OK, you’re allowed to have your feelings about it, thank you very much, but my feelings are my feelings, and I’m fairly devastated right now, so whatever you say, I’m still going to feel that way.”
She was however grateful for the women, who shared similar experiences and stories of their own struggle with her.
“Of course, my husband was there with me every step of the way, but I was also amazed at the number of women in my life who were brave enough to share their stories with me,” said Hathaway.
Anne Hathaway’s infertility lessons—to keep others in mind
The star of movies like Devil Wears Prada, The Intern, Ocean’s Eight and Les Miserables, said she was blown over by the large number of women who went through some form of infertility, and yet how silent it remains.
“I didn’t just wave a magic wand and, ‘I want to be pregnant and, wow, it all worked out for me, gosh, admire my bump now!’” she said. “It’s more complicated than that.”
Acknowledging that her happy pregnancy post could be difficult for people silently struggling with infertility, she said, “I was just aware of the fact that when it came time to post that I was pregnant, somebody was going to feel even more isolated because of it,” Hathaway said. “And I just wanted them to know they have a sister in me.”
In an interview with Vanity Fair, Hathaway again spoke about those who’re suffering from infertility.
“When it did go well for me, having been on the other side of it—where you have to have the grace to be happy for someone—I wanted to let my sisters know, ‘You don’t have to always be graceful. I see you and I’ve been you.’”